Let me tell you the hardest conversation in my practice. A couple has been together fifteen, twenty, sometimes thirty years. They never married — by choice, or because the timing never worked. Then one of them dies without a plan. And I have to explain to the surviving partner that, in the eyes of New York law, they were a legal stranger to the person they loved most.
No inheritance. No say in the funeral. Sometimes not even the right to stay in the apartment they shared. If you and your partner aren't married, New York's default rules do not protect you — but a handful of documents will. Here's what every unmarried couple in New York needs.
The Hard Truth: New York Gives Unmarried Partners Nothing
New York's intestacy law — the statute that decides who inherits when there's no will — recognizes spouses and blood relatives. That's it. There is no category for "long-term partner," "life partner," or "the person I lived with for 25 years."
If your partner dies without a will, their assets pass to their closest relatives in a fixed order: children first, then parents, then siblings, and outward from there. You, the surviving partner, receive nothing by default — no matter how long you were together or whose money actually paid for what. Our guide on what happens when someone dies without a will in New York spells out that order.
Married couples get an automatic safety net — the spousal share, the elective share, tax breaks. Unmarried couples get none of it. Everything you want your partner to have, you have to grant them on purpose, in writing.
The Documents Every Unmarried Couple Needs
1. A Will or Revocable Living Trust
This is the foundation. A will lets you leave assets to your partner and name them as executor. A revocable living trust does the same while also avoiding probate — which matters more for unmarried couples, because a disgruntled blood relative is more likely to challenge a will that "cuts them out" in favor of a partner. A trust is harder to contest and keeps everything private. See our living trust vs. will in New York comparison.
2. A Healthcare Proxy and HIPAA Authorization
If you're hospitalized and can't speak for yourself, who decides your care? Without a healthcare proxy, New York turns to a statutory list of surrogates — spouse, adult children, parents, siblings. An unmarried partner is not on that list. A signed healthcare proxy names your partner as your medical decision-maker, and a HIPAA authorization ensures they can even get information from your doctors. Our New York healthcare proxy guide explains how it works.
3. A Durable Power of Attorney
A durable power of attorney lets your partner manage your finances — pay the mortgage, access accounts, handle bills — if you become incapacitated. Without it, your partner may have no legal authority over shared finances, and the alternative is a costly court guardianship. Learn more on our power of attorney explainer.
4. Updated Beneficiary Designations
Retirement accounts, life insurance, and payable-on-death bank accounts pass directly to whoever is named as beneficiary — outside your will and outside probate. This is the single easiest way to provide for a partner. Name them, keep the designations current, and those assets reach them fast and privately. Read our beneficiary designation guide.
The 10-minute move: If you do only one thing today, update the beneficiary designations on your retirement accounts and life insurance to name your partner. It costs nothing, takes minutes, and bypasses both probate and the intestacy rules entirely.
Protecting the Home You Share
The shared home is where unmarried couples get hurt most. If the deed is in your partner's name alone and they die without a plan, the home passes to their relatives — who can force a sale and evict the surviving partner.
Options to prevent this include:
- Joint ownership with right of survivorship — the property transfers automatically to the surviving co-owner, avoiding probate entirely
- A revocable trust holding the property, with instructions to let the surviving partner remain
- A life estate, giving one partner the right to live in the home for life before it passes to others
Each has tax and control trade-offs, so get advice before changing a deed. Our wills and trusts and estate planning teams structure these regularly.
The Estate Tax Problem for Unmarried Couples
Here's a trap that catches higher-net-worth couples. Married spouses can pass unlimited assets to each other tax-free through the marital deduction, and can share unused exemptions through portability. Unmarried partners get neither.
That means a large gift or bequest to a partner can trigger New York estate tax (and potentially federal tax) that a married couple would never owe. If your combined assets are significant, proactive planning — trusts, lifetime gifting strategies, life insurance structured correctly — becomes essential. Start with our overview of New York estate tax.
What About Children From Prior Relationships?
Many unmarried couples come with children from earlier relationships. Without a plan, your assets flow to your children by intestacy and skip your partner — or, if you want your partner cared for and your kids protected, you need a structure that does both. A trust can provide for your partner during their lifetime and then pass what remains to your children. This is exactly the kind of blended arrangement a will alone handles poorly.
Common Mistakes Unmarried Couples Make
Assuming "Common Law Marriage" Protects Them
New York does not recognize common law marriage. No matter how many years you've been together, you are not married in the eyes of the law unless you had a ceremony and a license.
Relying on a Verbal Promise
"He always said the apartment would be mine." That sentence has no legal weight. Only signed, valid documents control.
Letting Documents Go Stale
An old will naming an ex, or a retirement account still listing a former partner, overrides your current wishes. Review beneficiary designations and documents regularly.
When to Call an Estate Planning Attorney
If you're in a committed relationship without a marriage certificate, you cannot rely on New York's defaults — they were not written for you. A coordinated plan of a will or trust, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, and current beneficiary designations closes every gap.
At Morgan Legal Group, we build estate plans for unmarried and cohabiting couples throughout New York City and the surrounding counties. We make sure the person you've built a life with is the person the law protects.
For general background, the New York Courts "When Someone Dies" resource outlines how estates pass under state law.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does an unmarried partner inherit anything in New York?
No. Without a will or trust, an unmarried partner inherits nothing. Assets pass to the deceased's blood relatives under intestacy law.
What documents do unmarried couples need?
A will or living trust, a healthcare proxy with HIPAA authorization, a durable power of attorney, and updated beneficiary designations.
Can my partner make medical decisions if we aren't married?
Only if you name them in a healthcare proxy. Otherwise New York's default surrogates are family members, and a partner is not included.
Do unmarried couples get estate tax breaks?
No. The marital deduction and portability apply only to married spouses, so larger estates need proactive tax planning.
Does New York recognize common law marriage?
No. New York does not recognize common law marriage regardless of how long a couple has lived together.
